Resentments..

The picture on the left is credited to Mr. Sponsorpants.  The message from the picture was so powerful for me I wanted to write a bit on what it means to me.

Resenting another person or situation is the most toxic, defeating, self-sabotaging, and  un-loving thing I can do to myself.  I don't care who or what I am stewing about and resenting, they are not losing ONE MINUTE thinking about me.  I am the one in the cross-hairs and it is my finger on the trigger.  I am responsible for removing my finger, only me.

It took me years and years to construct the walls that I used as a defensive mechanism.  Resentments and blame were the mortar that held it together.  As I learned a better way I realized that I don't need to be forgiven by others to forgive.  Some aren't ready, some will never forgive me.  The Steps have helped me to work through my resentments, my part, and making amends.  It takes time for slow learners like me.

I have a few resentments today.  I am grateful they aren't old ones but they do indicate that I still have much work to do.  I also have my gratitude list.  I cannot be grateful and resentful at the same time.  I also can't just ignore those little resentments that nudge at my serenity.  No resentment is too small to look at honestly and find what is under it.  This is where a seasoned sponsor can help me...or anyone.