Sunday morning and cold outside. I'm enjoying some lite jazz and coffee. Moments like this are such blessings to me and I really embrace them now. I am finding it more fulfilling to post less but be able to share a bit more. Things have been quietly flowing on our homestead but there is always something to talk about.
This past week I had been asked by a friend to say something that wasn't true in her court case . She is a good friend and probably my closest friend. We have been through alot together so when she asked me to do this I just kind of mumbled something and then stewed and fretted about it for a week. I lie. I am human and while I try not to, I do slip occasionally. However...I have never ever lied when in court. I take that whole hand-on-the-Bible thing seriously even though I don't believe in hell or damnation, I do believe in having a clear conscience. I did not know how to tell her that I couldn't help her. Well, my HP has a sense of humor...
I had texted my mom about the situation and my dilemma. Unfortunately, this text did not go to my mother but to my friend. Coincidence? I think not. I was mortified at first and extremely embarrassed. My friend was not angry and said she was sorry she had put me in the position. My dilemma had resolved itself. I still feel embarrassed that I did not have the cohones to tell her right up front. I am working through that part. Damn.
I avoid OPD (Other People's Drama) like the plague these days. I am not sure if it is a setting of boundaries or it is just that I have been through enough of my own making that I just don't have the desire to do the whole drama-merry-go-round again when I am not involved. I feel a bit selfish but is that a bad thing when it comes to my serenity and sanity? What is my part? I need to share with my friend that I care for her and will always be here for her in any way that I can and am able. There are some things that I can not do. Talking honestly about how I feel, my boundaries and taking care of myself in a mature, kind and loving way is still hard for me. I still have that old need to please people, not cause problems, not rock the boat and avoid displeasure of others. This is another opportunity to learn. Yay.
I will pray about it and ask for help in having the courage to be honest and firm. I know that I am making this a much bigger issue in my head than it probably is so I will pray for the ability to keep my perspective in balance. A big lesson for me.
We are expecting more winter weather in a few days so we are off to the big town of Raleigh today. We will wander the aisles of Harborfreight and go have some awesome seafood for lunch. Then it is back home to tend doggies, hearth and home. Keep warm and hug someone who needs it today.
This past week I had been asked by a friend to say something that wasn't true in her court case . She is a good friend and probably my closest friend. We have been through alot together so when she asked me to do this I just kind of mumbled something and then stewed and fretted about it for a week. I lie. I am human and while I try not to, I do slip occasionally. However...I have never ever lied when in court. I take that whole hand-on-the-Bible thing seriously even though I don't believe in hell or damnation, I do believe in having a clear conscience. I did not know how to tell her that I couldn't help her. Well, my HP has a sense of humor...
I had texted my mom about the situation and my dilemma. Unfortunately, this text did not go to my mother but to my friend. Coincidence? I think not. I was mortified at first and extremely embarrassed. My friend was not angry and said she was sorry she had put me in the position. My dilemma had resolved itself. I still feel embarrassed that I did not have the cohones to tell her right up front. I am working through that part. Damn.
I avoid OPD (Other People's Drama) like the plague these days. I am not sure if it is a setting of boundaries or it is just that I have been through enough of my own making that I just don't have the desire to do the whole drama-merry-go-round again when I am not involved. I feel a bit selfish but is that a bad thing when it comes to my serenity and sanity? What is my part? I need to share with my friend that I care for her and will always be here for her in any way that I can and am able. There are some things that I can not do. Talking honestly about how I feel, my boundaries and taking care of myself in a mature, kind and loving way is still hard for me. I still have that old need to please people, not cause problems, not rock the boat and avoid displeasure of others. This is another opportunity to learn. Yay.
I will pray about it and ask for help in having the courage to be honest and firm. I know that I am making this a much bigger issue in my head than it probably is so I will pray for the ability to keep my perspective in balance. A big lesson for me.
We are expecting more winter weather in a few days so we are off to the big town of Raleigh today. We will wander the aisles of Harborfreight and go have some awesome seafood for lunch. Then it is back home to tend doggies, hearth and home. Keep warm and hug someone who needs it today.
I have had similar coincidence with the text and it did feel like divine intervention for me too. It is hard to stay out of other people stuff especially when they want you to help. I feel guilty because I am less available now because I have found I am more peaceful being on my own. I am only interested in getting my own business taken care of a and right now it is a full time job.
ReplyDeleteI laughed out loud at the text message miracle. What a wonderful thing!
ReplyDeleteYou mention that you pray for courage and cojones to be honest and firm. I know what you mean. My sponsor reminded me once that we all are entitled to ponder things and then change our minds. It is NOT a betrayal to return to someone and say, "I realized after some thought that [I'm not able to do what you asked.]"
I also learned in recovery that it's perfectly legitimate so respond to someone's request with: "Let me give that some thought and I'll get back to you."
Wow! What liberty that gives me! I'm so grateful we share with each other what we learn, because I wasn't born knowing all this stuff. Have a great week, Kim.
yeah lying in court is not a good habit at all...laying in general, but that one comes with stiff penalties...hope the winter weather is not too bad...
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that the event with your friend was resolved. It is not fair to ask another to lie. Nor is it fair for me to lie for them. It is just like enabling. Stay warm.
ReplyDelete