My Alanon sponsor is a wise woman and she often uses the A.A. Big Book as a tool. She and I both have a particular love for the promises of A.A. (pgs 83-84 of the Big Book). Here they are:
THE A.A. PROMISES
"If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them."
I'm sharing this because although Alanon does not have their own "promises", this passage, like the 12 Steps, have helped me to become who I am today. I understand the truth in the words above. It has been awhile now since I have come through the doors with all of those fears and other raw emotions and baggage I carried for so long. I did not know what to do with them. I did not know how to live without them for fuel for my own merry-go-round in life. I am so grateful for the therapist who suggested Alanon to me. I don't remember her name or face but I remember her words.
I found out some news this week that wasn't surprising but still hurt. Those old feeling of despair and wanting to do something, anything, in order to feel like I had some control came sneaking up on me. But I know what they are now and I have a huge tool box in order to deal with them without destroying myself, my life, or the lives of those I love. I picked up the phone and checked in with someone who is really sick now. I made a commitment to go to more meetings this week. I did something that I had been putting off (and it turned out better than I had feared!). I made an extra effort not to insert myself into a situation that I have left in my HPs hands (that is still hard). I did something nice for my husband and tried to be more pleasant to him. I didn't judge myself for something that I could have in past times. I got the privilege of getting a phone call yesterday and listened to someone else who was having difficulties. I truly know how to instinctively handle problems that use to baffle me.
I got up this morning and am grateful that I have heat, and a partner, and animals that love me no matter what. I hope to be of service today and that my HP holds both my children, and the rest of those I love in safety, love, and light.
I hope your day holds a few happy surprises for you and I hope you see the promises of AA in your own life.
Namaste
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Wednesday, November 4, 2009
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10:20 AM